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Update on Tarzan</span></font></div></div>
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<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">I was at the store yesterday, and I ran into Tarzan! I asked him how
it was going and if he was into anymore movies.</span></font>
He
told me that he could no longer make any more movies as he had severe
arthritis in both shoulders and could no longer swing from vine to tree.</span></font>
I asked how Jane was doing.</span></font></span></font></div>
</span></font></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">He told me she was in bad shape, in a nursing home, has Alzheimer's and no longer recognizes anyone, how sad.</span></font>
I asked about Boy.</span></font></span></font></div>
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<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">He
told me that Boy had gone to the big city, got hooked up with bad
women, drugs, alcohol, and the only time he heard from him was if he
was in trouble or needed something.</span></font>
I asked about Cheeta.</span></font></span></font></div>
</span></font>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">He beamed and said she was doing good, had married a Lawyer and was now First Lady of the U.S.!!!</span></font></div></span></font>
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Gee -- do you think there's any chance they meant it as "an Indonesian hero </span>should have been honored," not "an Indonesian </span>hero should have been honored" -- if you get my drift?
[img]smileys/smiley2.gif[/img]
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Groidian thug trash-talks a 67 y/o White man on the bus...then hits him...only to get his sorry@$$ whooped! [img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img] [img]smileys/smiley32.gif[/img]
http://www.wntube.net/play.php?vid=6527
Edited by: DixieDestroyer
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Too good!!
"He leakin'!"[img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img]
"Bring M&Ms"! -- ??!? -- ??!!??!?!?!!!!![img]smileys/smiley22.gif[/img][img]smileys/smiley24.gif[/img][img]smileys/smiley29.gif[/img]
ANUNews links today to the video where Ron Paul comments on the routing of the Tea Party movement, hilariously entitled....... This tea tastes funny! ROTF.....
Site also has this show -- Palin as Lucretia McEvil. Totally demolishes the hag with many great splash images and her robotically scripted palaver:
http://www.wntube.net/play.php?vid=6507
Edited by: Nelson3
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I can add this in good conscience because it's actually good clean fun.
http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/austria.asp
To turbo-charge the experience, try Wikipedia on it!
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A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "Okay, but do not go in that field over there," as he pointed out the location.
The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pant's pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish . . . on any land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams and saw the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull.
With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer and it seemed likely that he would be gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.. The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs. . .
"QUICK! Show him your BADGE!"
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nuttynewstoday.com
<h2 style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">Principal: Hugs were out of control at school</h2>
Posted By Staff
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Date: March 19th, 2010</div>
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1 Comment</div>
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Category: Nutty News</div>
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Oregon
- Students could not pass each other in the hallway without a hug, the
principal said. The girls were hugging one another all the time. Kids
were late to class because of the hugs. Classes would end, middle
schoolers would eye a classmate at the other end of the hallway,
“they’d scream, run down the hallway and jump in each other’s arms,”
Principal Allison Couch said. So the principal banned hugs. Full Article******************
Buganda, Muganda, Baganda, Uganda
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buganda
Oh, no</span> -- one of the Ugandan "kings" honored with burial in the "Kasubi Tombos" was named Muteesa</span>.
Would that be the same as the Mo'teasuh tribe before the Great Vowel Shift?
[img]smileys/smiley2.gif[/img]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kasubi_Tombs#Tombs
Edited by: Nelson3
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This is a funny, clever, tangy site..... with the usual pointless vulgarity victims of the TV drug compulsively add.
http://iowntheworld.com/blog
Whew, it announces this! Don't tell me the fake world is going real world!??!?!
http://rightnetwork.com/
Edited by: Nelson3
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<div>Subject: Fw: Fw: Fwd: Larry the Cable Guy</div>
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<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; font-family: serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span>Even
after the recent Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I have
noticed a large number of people implying with bad jokes that Cajuns
aren't smart. I would like to state for the record that I disagree
with that assessment. Anybody that would build a city</span>5</span></span>feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with Democrats is a damn genius</span>.</span></div>
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http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local-b...age-Hackers-Sa y-No-Latinos-on-Highway-Sign-94810499.html
LATER........
<br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees!"
he said. "What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" As he
continued walking alongside the river admiring nature's beauty he heard
a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a
seventeen-foot tall grizzly bear rise up and start charging towards
him. He turned & ran as fast as he could up the path, but looking
over his shoulder, could see that the bear was slowly gaining on him.
His heart pumped frantically and he tried to run even faster. Finally
he tripped over a fallen branch and went sprawling to the ground. He
rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear rising his paw to take
a swipe at him.</span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">At that instant the atheist suddenly cried out, "Oh my God! . . ."</span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">Time stopped.
</span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">The bear froze. </span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">The forest fell silent.</span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">Then a bright light shone upon the man from above. A voice came out of the sky saying:</span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">"You
deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist
and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help
you out of this predicament? Am I now to count you as a believer?"</span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">The atheist looked stoically into the light. </span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">"It
would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a
Christian now," the atheist said, "but perhaps ... perhaps you could
make the bear a Christian?" </span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">"Very well," said the voice, "consider it done." The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed. </span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">And then the bear folded his front paws, bowed his head & spoke: </span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">"Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive, & for which I am truly thankful. Amen."</span>
Edited by: Nelson3
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http://www.olpinhoopes.com/web/index...n=com_facilefo rms&Itemid=39&id=300</span></span>
Robert W. Snyder, Jr.</span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">Born September 2, 1947</span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">Died June 19, 2010</span></font><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"></font>Viewing: June 24, 2010</span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">Service: Thursday, June 24, 2010 - 11:00 a.m.</span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">Cemetery: Utah Veteran's Memorial Park</span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">Robert W. Snyder, Jr. Bob left us on June 19th after a day of doing what he loved, sailing the BJ at Soldier Creek with good friends and family. Bob was born September 2, 1947, at Mitchel Field AFB, in New York, the only son of Charlotte and Robert Snyder. After serving in the U.S. Navy, he married Connie and they began their life together in Denver. After a few years in Denver, the couple moved to Minneapolis where their son Michael was born in 1970. After a brief stay living in San Francisco they finally made their home in Utah where they raised their son and enjoyed many friends and family. Bob is survived by his wife, Connie, son, Mike (Wendy), granddaughter, Bailey, and sisters, Jean Allstun and Carol (Gary) Davis. Bob lived his life to the fullest and always found a way to have a good time. He had way of making friends with everyone he met and will be missed by all who knew him. Services will be held Thursday, June 24, 2010 11:00 a.m. at Camp Williams, 17111 S. Camp Williams Road (Redwood Rd), Bluffdale, Utah. Family and close friends are welcome from 10:00 10:45 a.m. prior to the service. Arrangements in care of Olpin-Hoopes Funeral Home. Condolences may be sent to the family online at www.olpinhoopes.com. In lieu of flowers and in memory of Bobs humorous outlook on life, please feel free to make contributions to whoever may be running against Obama in 2012.</span>
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Do you suppose the toxic sludge oozing out of Hungary is actually the 63-year accumulation of gew supremacism, communism and PC that nationalists are brilliantly purging from that country?
[img]smileys/smiley2.gif[/img]
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</span>Splinters in her
Pants</span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">A woman from Los Angeles, CA who was a tree hugger, a Democrat, and an
anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA. There was a
large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of
the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she
neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to
escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her
pants.</span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">In considerable pain, she hurried to Mt. Carmel ER to see a doctor.
She told him she was an environmentalist, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter and how
she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great
patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if
he could help her.</span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">She sat and waited three hours before the doctor
reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"</span><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">He smiled and
then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection
Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could
remove old-growth timber from a recreational area. I'm sorry, but due to Obamacare, they turned me down."</span>
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NNT
<H2>Police Pick up Drunken Owl</H2>
Posted By Staff
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Date: January 18th, 2011</DIV>
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Nutty News Germany - German police said they had discovered a paralytic owl that appeared to have drunk too much Schnapps from two discarded bottles. A woman walking her dog alerted the police after seeing the bird sitting by the side of the road oblivious to passing traffic. The Brown Owl didnt appear to be injured and officers quickly concluded that it had had one too many. More
LATER.
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<DIV style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt">This morning the Muslim Brotherhood warned the United
States that if the US meddling in Egypt continues they intend to cut off America
's supply of 7-11 and Motel 6 managers.
If this action does not yield
sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell, AT&T and AOL
customer service reps.
Finally, if all else fails, they have
threatened not to send us any more presidents either.
It's gonna get
ugly,
people.
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</DIV>Edited by: Nelson3
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Boy, if THIS isn't the truth!!!
<br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;">A Harley biker was riding by the zoo in Washington, DC when he saw a little girl leaning into the lion's cage.</span><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;"><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;">Suddenly, the lion grabbed her by the cuff of her jacket and tried
to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming
parents.</span><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;"><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;">The biker jumped off his Harley, ran to the cage and hit the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.</span><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;"><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;">Whimpering from the pain the lion jumped back letting go of the
girl, and the biker brought her to her terrified parents, who thanked
him endlessly.</span><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;"><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;">A reporter had watched the whole event. The
reporter, addressing the Harley rider, said, 'Sir, this was the most
gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.'</span><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;"><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;">The Harley rider replied, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion
was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I
felt right.'</span><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;"><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;">The reporter said, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't
go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, and tomorrow's paper will have this
story on the front page...</span><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;">
So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?'</span><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;"><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;">The biker replied, 'I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.' The journalist left.</span><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;"><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;">The following morning the biker bought the paper to see news of his actions, and read, on the front page:</span><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;"><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;"><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;">U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH.....</span><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;"><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;"><br style="font-family: Times New Roman,Times,serif;">That pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days. </span></font>
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This is great! Talk about Freudian slips? From a Glenn Beck mailer:
The Osama/Obama problem
No broadcaster wants to do it, but many (including Glenn) have been guilty of switching that one fateful letter around causing quite an embarrassing moment. Dozens of prominent broadcasters have made mistakes like Obama bin Laden, Obama is dead, they found where Obama was hiding, calling Obama Osama -- and on and on. Pat & Stu play the dozens of hilarious screw ups by the media on radio today.
http://www.glennbeck.com/2011/05/09/...obama-problem/
Edited by: Nelson3
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An article entitled "Codename 'smart alec': British police label Obama with 'mildly offensive' Punjabi word for visit to UK"
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...6/British-poli ce-label-Obamas-upcoming-visit-Punjabi-word-Chalaque-means-s mart-alec.html
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Farm flatulence is in the news again -- but tactfully without saying so -- ?!?!
http://www.cattlenetwork.com/cattle-...135323843.html
To put it another way, there's a lot of BS mentioned, so I guess this really belongs in a more political thread.
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