Border Patrol Game
On May 1st, as a result of the Mexican boycott,
national retailers reported 4.2% lower sales for the
day, with a 67.8% reduction in shoplifting
Yes, I noticed that one also.
So, overall, retailers stood to gain by a better than 16 to 1 ratio, by way of the decline in retail theft.
The mestizos should be encouraged to boycott on a regular basis--it's good for business!
The greatest threat to freedom is not foreign governments. It is our own.
Sure, just like when the NAACP threatens a boycott of your state or city. It brings great economic and social benefits every time. They targeted tourism in particular in SC, and both tourism and the budget broke records instead -- as governors of both parties bragged, even as they whined the flag had to come down because it was bad for business.
Edited by: nelson
Hell's main export is, appropriately, kitsch. It has a "fully non-accredited" college that sells singed diplomas, a motorcycle dealership, and an ice cream parlor.
In the early 1930s, Pinckney, MI postmaster W. C. Miller began to receive requests from stamp and postmark collectors for cancellations: Hell had no post office, and Pinckney was barely three miles away. On July 15th, 1961, a postal substation was established at Hell. (It remains today, at the back of the general store.)
Hell Creek runs through town, and through a small dam; a bar next to the creek is known as "The Dam Site Inn".
Hell also sponsors a running event called "Run Thru Hell 10 mile and 4.8 mile race." Each participant is given a T-shirt that says "I Ran Thru Hell".
TNA Wrestler Chris Sabin is billed from Hell, MI, though he is actually from Detroit........
http://www.google.com/search?as_q=&n...amp;hl=en& btnG=Google+Search&as_epq=hell%2C+michigan& ;as_oq=&am p;as_eq=&lr=&as_ft=i&as_filetype=& as_qdr=all &as_occt=any&as_dt=i&as_sitesearch=&am p;as_right s=&safe=images
Edited by: nelson
Joe Sobran has a way of writing and writing and complaining and complaining (this is what all conservative pundits do after age 60) and then POW, he throws in some really funny crack.
His current column is yet another lament for the General State Of Things Under Bush, summarized "It’s a crazy time, when the old verities don’t seem to apply anymore, except that Kennedys are still being arrested"....
I don't know, it just struck me as screamingly funny, that part about the Kennedys. [img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img][img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img] [img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img] [img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img] [img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img]
Edited by: nelson
News of the Weird reported in 2001 that a bulimic woman in Toyoda, Japan, had been caught illegally dumping about 60 pounds a week of her own vomit in remote locations and, in 2003, that another bulimic woman had been caught discarding similar quantities near Madison, Wis. (perhaps, say health professionals, to assist their denial process by keeping their own homes untainted). In April 2006, sheriff's deputies reported a similar spree, near an Iowa town called Mount Pleasant, that has now totaled about 50 bags' worth over three years, but at press time, the vomiter was still at large.
From: "a_millard" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
To: "distribution list" <email@example.com>
Subject: We're Off to See the Wizard!
Date: Fri, 16 Jun 2006 01:23:22 -0400
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< content="MS 6.00.2900.2873" name=GENERATOR>
<DIV>We' re Off to See the Wizard!
Four United States Presidents get caught up in a tornado ...
and off they whirled to the land of OZ.
They finally made it to the Emerald City and went to find the Great
"What brings the 4 of you before the great Wizard of Oz?"
Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly and said:
"I've come for some courage."
"No Problem! said the Wizard. Who's next?"
Richard Nixon stepped forward,
"Well, I think I need a heart."
"Done! says the Wizard.
Who comes next before the Great and Powerful Oz?"
Up stepped Dubya and said,
"I'm told by the American people that I need a brain."
"No problem! said the Wizard.
Consider it done."
Then there is a great silence in the hall.
Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking all around. . .
But he doesn't say a word.
Irritated and impatient, the Wizard finally asks,
"Well, what doYOU want?"
And Bill replies, </DIV>
<DIV> "Nuthin' from you, Wizard. I'm just looking for Dorothy."
"System Building Up Barack Obama as a Presidential Candidate" -- now if that isn't funny, what is?
I think the Dems are trying to outdo the Reps in presenting kwazy wabbits for chief executive....... and succeeding.
Edited by: nelson
Kwazy is right! I remember when H. Rap Brown and Stokley Carmichael were going to run for president ~ 1972 and were laughed out of town by mainstream Democrats. These days those two fellows would be serious intellectuals of the Progressive Movement!
Speaking of Kwazy ... our old bud Kwiesi MFume has been real quiet of late. Wonder what fund he is embezzling from this week. Even G. Gordon Liddy used to poke fun at ol' Kwiesi. Gordon would introduce him as ... "Kwiesi Mfume, alias Joe Blow"
This is a very intelligent sendup, but somebody who can really think, write -- and spell!
<DIV align=left>AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT - CONGRESSIONAL ACT 2006
WASHINGTON , DC (AP) - Congress is considering sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.
"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."
The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.
Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%) The DMV also has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability. (63%)
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.
Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?"
"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Senator Ted Kennedy, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and also find a place for all illegal aliens no matter how useless they may be."
<DIV align=left></DIV>Edited by: nelson
Ah Americans with No Abilities ... that's a lot of Americans especially fans of Ice-T and Snoop Dogg and H Rap Brown and etc etc Lots of 'em live in the Imperial City
Hope you're havinga great summer.
Dig -- the same to you and all in our jolly little Nationalist Grumblers Society! But what, once again, is the Imperial City? For the benefit of us who increasingly can't remember what day it is through the process of ever-burgeoning senility.
Imperial City = Oz = Home Office of Dubya
If you're a Dick Tracy fan, at this moment B.O. Plenty and Gertie are stuck in Imperial City. They arrived there with lottery winnings, in cash, in two leather bags. Bad guy named "Al Kinda" ripped them off. Tracy is on the scene trying to re-unite Plenty with his money. Business as usual in Imperial City!
May the electrical grid in Imperial City crash for the remainder of the heat wave. [img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img]
Editor, The Nationalist Times, Voice of the Real America since 1985
Some weeks ago when Imperial City flooded, we poor sops what work there were ordered to work anyway. We slogged to work through standing water, in malfunctioning trains and metros, diverted past non-functioning stations, and shared mass transit cars with "300 of our closest friends!" Upon arrival in Imperial City we reported to toil in sweltering hot buildings. After 90 minutes of fruitless toil with non-working computers and air conditioners, we were ordered to go home! And home we went, arriving just after lunchtime. Your tax dollars at work
I'm continuing to plumb the history of pop culture, just now via a page on pop music history
............and it misprints the name of the Everly Brothers as the Everly "Bothers". Isn't that hysterical? Somehow I just can't stop laffing over it, esp. in view of how seriously the boys always took themselves.[img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img]
Surely this is the greatest musical typo since Mel Tormé's nickname "the Velvet Fog" was misprinted as "the Velvet Fag" -- HAHAHAHA, funny, huh???[img]smileys/smiley1.gif[/img]
LATER. Castro's niece is a Cuban commie official and a crusader for transvestism, et al. I'm sure this interest of hers was welcomed by the party apparatus, uh huh! The best part is how all this gets reported with a straight face. [img]smileys/smiley17.gif[/img]
Mariela Castro is the director of the Cuban National Center for Sex Education in Havana and an activist for LGBT rights in Cuba. She is the daughter of first vice president Raúl Castro.
Her group campaigns for effective AIDS prevention as well as acceptance of homosexuality, bisexuality, transvestism, and transsexualism.
Edited by: nelson
Magnificent "commercials" thought up by our friend "White Shogun" in the Caste Football Happy Hour. They're so funny they need airing here in ANU-land:
"Ajax Driving School, helping Asians learn to drive for over 20 years!" Skinny ethnic-Chinese looking man with big black-rimmed glasses and buck teeth on screen: "Fank you Awax dribing skoo!", bows and smiles at camera. Peels out in little mini-car, bouncing off two cars on his way down the street.
"Uncle Tom's fried chicken and watermelon, we're your source for eats this Juneteenth!" Big fat black man and woman grin at the camera, chicken in one hand and watermelon in the other, with 8 kids sitting around a picnic table in the backgroud: "MMM MMM! That sho' is some fine ass chicken, Unka Tom!" Kids suddenly start fist fighting over buckets of chicken on a picnic table behind the obese couple. Cries of "I gets da leg, I gets da breast" can be heard. "Remember Uncle Tom's when you celebrate YOUR Juneteenth!" "Remember, you're not a slave anymore - choose Uncle Tom's!"
White woman walking alone into a dark parking garage, or huge empty out door parking lot. Suddenly two menacing black youth approach from the shadows. "Yo bitch, give up the purse." One flashes a knife, the other a toothy grin with sparkling gold teeth. The white woman says, "Please don't hurt me... I have my money right here.." Reaches in to her purse, pulls out a small pistol and shoots both of her assailants. Voice over: "Jack's Guns, helping protect innocent Americans for over 70 years." The woman has the gun pointed at the men writhing on the floor, now on her cell phone, "Yes, police?", voice fades as commercial ends.
I can think of plenty more, but you get the idea. Never see these on television!
Almost too true to be funny!
American corporate management at its best!<?:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O /><O:P></O:P>
Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.
On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.
The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat.
A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.
Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.
So American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.
To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.
They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder.
It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program", with meetings, dinners, and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.
The next year the Japanese won by two miles.
Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment.
The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was outsourced to India.
Edited by: nelson